I read an article that said the holidays can be especially difficult for those with M.S. They suggested that a person simplify and rest, eliminating as much stress as possible. Statistically, most attacks occur during stressful times like these. I spent the last month of this year torn between wanting to do all the things that my children were used to me doing and wanting to just do the minimum so that I could avoid celebrating Christmas stuck on the couch. On the one hand, my husband, mother, friends are telling me..."You need to slow down, take care of yourself for the long run..." while others tell me.."Don't let multiple sclerosis define or change your life. Those who work and play hard despite this disease just do better." I'm not really sure how it will go for me. I do know that my "new normal" is more tired than my old normal. And when I'm beyond tired, I hurt, I spasm, my arms and legs go numb and sometimes I cry. All this being said..it's time for a new year. What will my resolve be? To take it easy or take it to a new level? To take a nap or an extra lap? To sit and blog about my m.s. experiences or pretend they never happened? To eat a raw foods diet and do everything I can to "cure" myself or go down the street to the assisted living center and help someone who is debilitated by this disease? To take a look at this new hand I have been dealt and play it as well as I can or ask for a reshuffle? To look at the person walking with a cane and say, "That could be me someday" or the person running up the butte with ripped muscles and say, "That WILL be me someday"? Earlier today I was all excited and pumped up to make it the healthiest year of my life (that I have control over). I daydreamed about eating a smarter diet, swimming every single day, lifting weights, cycling, stretching....It looked good in my mind. It felt good in my mind. Now it's getting closer to midnight on New Year's Eve. I'm tired. My head hurts. I don't feel like doing any of those things. I want some chocolate, a good book, and some Calgon to take me away. But tomorrow is a new day, a new year. And His mercies are new every morning. I'll start it off with fresh orange juice, eggs, and maybe blueberries. Then I will have a swim and take an extra lap. How bout you?
