Hindsight is 20/20

For reasons we thought we understood (simplifying our life, getting out of debt, being closer to town, escaping allergens..etc.) we decided to sell our country home on 32 acres last Spring. It was very difficult for me to say "good-bye" to the open spaces, mountain views, country porch, quiet star-filled nights.  I loved watching my children grow up in the pure beauty of it all.  It was hard for all of us, but something Jack and I felt we needed to do.  Within a few weeks, our home was sold for cash.  In our down economy, we considered this a miraculous confirmation from God.  So, with the time capsule buried under the chicken coop and the wooden mountain scene ripped from the built in window bed, we packed everything into storage and awaited our fate. 

For three months, the six of us lived in my grandmother's 800 sq ft home near downtown.  It turned out to be one of our best summers yet.  The kids and I loved being able to walk to the library, tea house, river,  parks and other nearby attractions.  Our 13 year old farm dog learned how to go for a walk.  My daughter even pursued her dream of having a dog-walking business.  One client, but it was a start.   Other dreams that were longed for in our country days came true...a lemonade stand, a garage sale, a neighbor.  Yes, our cozy cottage became our diamond in the rough.  Knowing that it was only temporary insanity helped.

We had decided that it would be smartest to rent a home within our children's school boundaries while we took our time looking for just the right fit.  But with the few rental options we could find, we were required to sign a year lease.  Every home on the real estate market within our budget had either a very small yard or a very big need for remodel.  It was in the midst of great frustration that Jack called on his lunch hour to tell me that he had stumbled upon our home. 

It was a bank-owned home and the transaction happened in a blur of excitement.  I never dreamed I would own a home with an indoor pool for half the price of our country home.  I never dreamed that we would be a few blocks from my husband's office in town yet look out onto several acres including cows and horses beyond our back fence.  Even better, they belonged to the neighbors, so we didn't have to take care of them!  I never dreamed that when we moved, our home could still be large and unique enough to be the perfect hang out for lots of kids.  Yet, it seemed that God was gracious to us beyond measure in our desire to be debt free.  Little did I know what was ahead. But He did.

About six months after we moved in, my hands started falling asleep in the middle of the night.  Strange.  Annoying.  Probably carpal tunnel.  I continued to be frustrated by the fact that even though I had gone gluten-free after my diagnosis of celiac disease two year prior, I was still extremely fatigued by 3:00pm.  I tried to fight my fatigue with exercise.  I had run my first marathon in 2009...my goal before I turned 40.  But now three or four miles was about all I could take.  I decided to use the elliptical so that if I got too tired, at least I would be home and not stuck down the street.  After about 20 minutes, my feet would go numb and my legs would start to shake.  Strange.  Annoying.  One day, after a hard kickboxing workout, my legs and arms fell asleep in the hot shower.  I felt like I was going to pass out and I started crying uncontrollably.  The kids were at school and Jack was at work.  I made my way to the phone, called Jack and laid down on the floor and waited.  What a blessing that his office is so close.  Within an hour, I was driving the car to pick up my dog from the groomer.  I apologized for being late, embarrassed by what I thought had been a panic attack of some kind. 

With continued random numbness issues, I decided to call my doctor.  She suggested we do some blood work to see if I was low on vitamin B.  If that checked out ok, I was to make an appt. with a neurologist.  Carpal tunnel, bla bla bla...or m.s.   M.S.?  Flashbacks of two people from my childhood came into my mind.  My piano teacher: old, swollen feet, wheelchair bound, unable to play the piano but instructing me with her words...and then she died.  My neighbor man:  cared for by a live-in nurse, wheelchair bound, unable to feed himself, unable to talk.  Ha!  I doubt a silly episode in a hot shower could indicate something that severe.  But, that was exactly what struck her interest.  She wrote it down in her chart.

The good thing about the internet is that you can self-diagnose.   The bad thing about the internet is that you can self-diagnose.

And now I am too tired to tell the rest of the story.  Maybe tomorrow.  Don't worry,  hindsight is 20/20.