I can never seem to find the time to blog. But today seems like the perfect day to set aside a few minutes for reflection and sharing. I sit in a lovely Bed and Breakfast in the quaint town of Ashland, OR. My husband and I celebrate my latest medical report. My first annual MRI since diagnosis shows "no new lesions". Aside from the two herniated discs apparent in my neck, this is very good news. It means that the daily shots have been worth it. The medication is slowing the progress of this disease and all those research fundraising efforts by thousands, maybe millions of people over the years is blessing one more person. I always wondered about the Walk for MS, Bike for MS, Skydive for MS?? Is it all just a scam? Does that money ever really help in finding a cure? I never imagined that the questions would roll around in my head as they do now. It's hard to believe that I am living proof of the miraculous answers taking place.
Our celebration has included tennis in Lithia Park, leisurely walks, fishing, dining, reading...and epiphanies about our blessed lives and the years ahead. I saw an elderly lady at the ice cream shop yesterday. She held her cane close so as not to block the way of the younger crowd quickly passing by to choose their passion. She had no idea that I was intently sitting and waiting to learn of her every slow movement. She walked at a pace that seemed too painful and frustrating for me to grasp. Yet, she smiled as she patiently gazed upon every child-inspired flavor. Bubble Gum, Razzle Dazzle, Rocky Road. She looked dignified with her salon perfected white hair and rosy makeup. Yet, she was comfortably donning her clean and practical black athletic capris. Her sixty-something daughter kept calling to her from a few freezers away. "Mom? Do you know what you want?" "Mom? Have you decided?" "Mom? How about Vanilla Bean?" Her Mom continued to consider each potential dream. I felt like saying, "She just wants to take her time. She just wants this experience to be everything it CAN be. She just wants every step to be sweet and meaningful because who knows how many moments like this are left for her? Let her be." She was so happy to just be there in the ice cream store window shopping. Children were running free, college kids were flirting in the back of the line, dads were the heroes of the day as they paid for the delights, mothers sat in the booths with a moment to breathe while everyone was cheerful and satisfied. And Mom, in her eighties had already been there, done that. Now, she simply enjoyed the choosing.
I see my life ahead of me. This new wrench in the expectations I once had is working something fresh inside of me. I see possibilites for tomorrow that look good and hopeful. Still, I really don't know what another day will bring. But, I do know today. I know the warm sun. I know the clean breeze. I know this man that I love. I know a tummy full of creamy ice cream. I know there is a sweet little girl running and rolling down the grassy hill in the park. I know a brilliant white mountain in the horizon. I know a deep breath. I'm slowly tasting every one. I'm filled and content right now in this moment to just be here amongst all these dreamy flavors. I'm learning to be patient and experience the experience like Mom.
No comments:
Post a Comment